Tuesday, 13th of Nov 2005

 

Affections for Crue Min realized.

 

 

I’m on my bed now….wondering when we’ll get to the right place and right person to talk to about Huyen’s condition now…I wondered if she is still surviving. Or is she just treated very badly like what Mrs. Beth told me last month when I met her, as a next door neighbor of my youngest sister’s foster parents.

 

Things are not going well lately and the only thing I can do now was just to keep everything in prayer to the Lord. I haven’t been scribbling much lately about what happened few days back… as it is just plain boring and I’ve no time to observe anything around me… just too caught up, being busy with the addresses and contact number that was given by the educational office few days back. The only thing that I ever remembered and I felt that is worth writing about was Crue Min.

 

I realize that he is an awesome friend to work with….I realize that he… sort of know everything… just everything. This causes me to look up to him and make me rely on him completely. He is not does not have a good complexion that make him stand out...but he is just a perfectly nice friend to be with…he is a gentlemen, charming and really nice person. He is charming and gentle…that makes me…opps…Marcia Ember Raey…silly gurl…what on earth are you writing and scribbling about? He is just a friend Marcia…just your best friend’s twin…having affections for him already…?

 

I thought from the start it has been only….like Crue Min is a complete boring person and tralalalalala…etc….etc….what is happening now Marcia? Hu Tien, wake up! It is just for this trip that you are getting along with his as a team… and when you are back home everything will be back to normal…he’ll have his own life and you’ll be having your own plans as well…. Hutien,…control yourself…remember to look at the future…not the affections now. It wont help…Hutien…control yourself…God will lead you to him if he is really yours…so just keep him inside your heart first..and let time reveals itself… give yourself some more time to be a single…maybe there will be a better person somewhere that haven’t existed yet…or maybe Crue Min is the one…or maybe he will just remain good friends…opps wait! I don’t even know if he has the similar feelings for me…I just hope and wish that he doesn’t so that I wont feel so bad.

 

He just looks calm and steady every time I’m with him; he makes the environment as quiet as possible. It doesn’t seem to me that he has a same affections for me…I think most probably he is just treating me as a very good friend and care for me as his sister’s best friend. I can’t believe that I’ll get head over heels for him after just one month plus of knowing him..better. As for me I was just too shy to talk to him when I'm sitting in front of him unless he starts talking to me...that will make me feel like I'm having butterflies in my stomach.

 

This is just not me…or am I just being bluntly desperate for one… sometimes I ask God where my life partner is…but God still answer gently…”gurl you just have to wait…the right one haven’t comes…True Love Waits, my dear”…the Lord gently whispered into my ears as I wept lying down on my bed covering my head with my comforting blanket so that not one soul would know that I’m crying quietly. I’m tired of tarrying longer… I’m really tired of searching for Huyen. What is life to me? I’m just scribbling and scribbling for no reasons..my mind is just conflicting each other now… I think I just need more rest… I’ll be alright later…just need more rest…just have to stop thinking about my affections for Crue Min and move on…searching for Huyen as promised.

 

Tomorrow will be another day…of searching for Huyen…Crue Min offered to go by himself…so nice of him…I really appreciate his help. He looked tired today though…sorry to tired him down…really but he offered to help…I can’t say no. See what I mean…why can’t he be not so considerate then I’ll not think about him at all…sigh…okay I think I better stop here before I continue scribbling on unnecessary things…, things that are just crazy and all about the same person…why not just remain a full stop now..

 

FULL STOp. Okay hurry just leave the pencil hutien,…sleep and rest now…full stop…(in agreement to the mind).

 

to be continued ...

---

 

sorry to keep you people waiting...i hope this archive can entertain you all a bit... I just finish my semester examination today. So i have time to write a chapter today. Please give comments and more comments on it... I'm sorry to keep you waiting...but i hope this archive is alrite.

 

thetruehutien

 

drop by my personal blog whenever you are free...

 

thetruehutien.bravejournal.com

 

Great!! I can't wait to read the next installment, I want to see where the story is going.

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